If I was a Drinker

So remember I described our blog to include parental tantrums.....well here is mine.

With both kids being sick last week and Aaron's vasectomy on Friday of last week, by Sunday night I was ready for everyone to be better. My husband was a very easy patient. He stayed in bed and only called to me when he really did need help with something. For the most part, he took care of himself (thank you honey).

But for the kids, that is a different story. I think I have yelled, swatted butts, and spent more time trying to run away this past week than in the past year. I think the kids knew Daddy wasn't going to be getting up to punish them. They pushed every button possible to the point that Tuesday night when I went to bed, I was in tears.

I have come to the realization that I am not the parent I wanted to be. Of course, we all think we will have angel children that will listen and behave and that is not true. A nice dream but not reality. Anyway, by the time I get home each day, I try to cook dinner, attempting but not succeeding, without yelling at the kids to stay out of the kitchen while hot stuff is being cooked. If I was a drinker, it would be at this point that the first glass would be poured.

Kaidynce has a fetish with food. Okay, she LOVES food. If she is in the kitchen while I am cooking, raw or not, she starts screaming for me to give her the food I am cooking. It is frustrating. So on these nights that first glass would be chugged (if I was a drinker of course).

So I get dinner on the table and we spend the next hour, yes I said HOUR, eating dinner. My daughter who loves food (see above), takes forever to eat her dinner. Brennan takes awhile too but usually starts whining to get down because he "doesn't feel good." That is another frustration in itself as it is his new favorite excuse. The second glass would be poured about 30 minutes into the process (if I was a drinker).

Dinner ends and I clean up. I once again find myself begging/yelling/and even swatting the kids to get them into their room for this process. Uninterrupted, cleaning the kitchen takes me about 15 minutes. That is all I ask for. With my kids testing my patience on a minute-by-minute basis, the second glass would be chugged (if I was a drinker).

Kitchen cleaned. Now it is time to play with the kids. But at this point, since they have been in trouble, it is whining and crying. After about 30 minutes, I have had enough. At this point, the third glass would be poured and probably chugged (if I was a drinker).

I usher the kids to the bath, wash them up and hoping for no whining but it doesn't happen, and then off to bedrooms for pajamas. It would become easier to put up with their whining and clinging at this point if I was a drinker of course as I would be a bit buzzed. But since I am not a drinker, I fall into the computer chair with Kaidynce in my arms and her glass of milk. Thirty minutes later, the kids are put to bed and I am able to relax.

This is how my nights go. Well not anymore. Last night, the kids played in their rooms for about 20 minutes, only coming out twice and being told to go play while I finished what I was doing. No yelling, just asking! It was nice. I then played a game of Candyland with Brennan, gave him his snack, cuddled Kaidynce, and put them in bed. It was a nice evening. Starting tonight, there will be a time limit on dinner for Kaidynce, a no whining rule for Brennan (meaning "I don't feel good" is not going to work anymore), and then a family game. It was much more relaxing last night and I never once thought about becoming a drinker!

Doorknob Underwear

So after Brennan's nap today, I asked him to go get his underwear from the top of his dresser. He ran down the hall and then I heard his door close. He came running back to me with no underwear. Upon asking him where they were, he responds with "I put them on my door." Knowing ahead of time that my son is pretty literal, I grab the camera. This is what I found:

Aaron's Vasectomy

So yesterday Aaron had his vasectomy. All week he was nervous and one particular coworker of his was making it worse for him as well. We get to the doctor's office at 1:30 for his appointment. The nurse takes us into the patient room and then proceeds to tell us that one of Aaron's friends called and told her to scare the life out of him regarding the procedure. Come to find out, it was this coworker so Aaron wanted her to call him back and tell him that Aaron had a heart attack during the procedure. So you can see how the appointment is starting.

We then get taken into the procedure room. Aaron is told to strip from the waist down and I get told where to stand in the room to watch the entire thing. Yes the doctor let me watch. He even said I could take pics and/or film it. I promise you, there are no pics or video of the procedure. I promised my husband and I stuck to that.

The nurse comes into to start the pre-op. We begin joking about our families and kids (she knew our son through some mutual friends). She shaves him and then proceeds to take about 10 pounds of soaked gauze for cleaning the area and prepping his "boys" for surgery. The doc then enters the room asking Aaron how he feels. Anyone who knows Aaron would know that this begins some fun banter.

Aaron: Doc, there is no reason to jump right in. Shouldn't we have dinner first?
Doc: Do we have to see a movie afterwards?
Aaron: No, no movie. Just dinner.
Doc: Do I have to call you tomorrow?
Aaron: Nope. You can treat me like a doormat and never call again.
Doc: Alright, next time I will call you for dinner first.
Aaron: Next time huh? We planning to meet like this frequently?
Doc: Well you are a little "nuts" about me aren't you?
Aaron: Oh straight to the nut jokes huh?
Doc: Why not?

This went back and forth for the entire procedure. I watched some of it and was rather impressed with how it is done. The rest of the time I sat and played games on Aaron's iPod. Hey I was just the driver for this procedure.

Anyway, it is now Saturday night and Aaron has been resting in our bed since we got home yesterday afternoon. He is getting cabin fever and says he feels guilty for not being able to help me with the kids. It is okay though. The kids are being very good with him (actually leaving him alone for the most part). He is returning to work on Monday and has his stitches taken out on Thursday.

And he has learned a whole new level of deep muscle pain!

Daddy's Hair

While sitting at dinner discussing how Brennan could not go to the store with me because he was sick, the subject turned to Aaron's impending Vasectomy on Friday. I explained to Brennan that Daddy was having his pee pee and balls fixed (Aaron corrected me to say Family Jewels) and that this weekend everyone would be resting and not jumping on Daddy.

As most 3 year olds do, the subject was quickly changed again as Brennan started meowing. He then said he looked like a cat. I explained that he sounded like a cat when he meowed. He said, "Mommy I not a cat. I need hair on my pee pee and balls to be a cat. Daddy is a cat because he has hair that has to be fixed." At this point, I lost it completely. I covered my face with my hands and laughed until I cried.

Then I noticed that Kaidynce was laughing behind her hands too. Now she doesn't understand what brother said, she was just mimicking me, and kept doing it for the remainder of dinner.

Pneumonia & Ear Infection

Yesterday was the beginning of it. Aaron went to pick up the kids to find out that Brennan had been laying on the couch for most of the morning and only started playing in the afternoon. He barely ate anything except the snack, which of course he loved. Kaidynce apparantly was so unbearable that the teacher looked as though she was ready to hurt someone (Aaron's words not the teacher's).

So they came home and the typical afternoon whining started. Thinking I would try and get them to eat, we got nuggets for dinner. It worked for Brennan and Kaidynce ate a little bit. A lot of coughing throughout the evening, combined with more whining made me very happy once bedtime rolled around.

Fast forward to this morning. Kaidynce will not leave me. She won't sit on the couch. She won't cuddle her blankets and stuffed animals. Brennan woke up and was the same way. Aaron came home to be with them and I head to work. We took them to the doctor's office just before noon and found out that they suddenly felt much better. Well except Brennan. If you asked him if he felt better he said, "Not yet!" But the running around in the office contradicted that.

Brennan was very good for Dr. Bob. He normally is scared of him but was truly an excellent patient, following all directions of breathing deeply and talking when needed. His diagnosis: Pneumonia!

Kaidynce was more leery of being a good patient. She would only sit still in my arms or if I was holding her hand. Luckily her diagnosis is a little better: Double Ear Infection!

Off to get antibiotics and lots of hydration and rest.

Turning the Big 3

So Brennan turned the big 3 yesterday. While I am sad that he is growing up, I laugh at his ever growing humor and personality.

For example, Thursday morning Grandma showed up for his birthday weekend. The first thing out of his mouth was "You didn't bring me my birthday cake." Then came the
Hi Grandma" and the hugs and kisses.

So on Friday night, we were all sitting around having a good time visiting with each other and making the kids laugh. Well Aaron kept telling Brennan to lick grandma's feet (I know gross). Well Grandma kept hiding her feet in the couch cushions. So I decide to help. I held Grandma's legs still while Brennan gave her a good lick, from ankle bone to toes. Then without missing a beat he looked at me and said, "Good job Mommy. High Five!" I think we all about peed our pants on that one.

Then comes another boy gross moment. Grandma decided to air herself out (passed gas) and Brennan stuck his head under her legs (she was laying on the couch) and while we are all telling him no, he says "I see light." So then my husband, the loving man he is, tells my son to stay away from the light.

On Saturday was the big birthday party. Brennan had fun playing with his friends and his grandparents. When it was time to open presents, he was so excited. Opening them one by one, he couldn't contain his excitement for the trucks, the "shoop" toys (a Toy Story worm boot shooter - don't ask), and the Thomas and Friends train stuff. He then takes the bike helmet out of the bag from Grandpa. I put it on his head and Aaron came into the room with his bike. Dead serious he says, "I no want that." We all laugh and explain that it is his. He told us to take it back. Now we didn't do that of course and now he has been riding up and down the back patio for a couple days. He loves it after all.

3, no 5, Girlfriends

So last night I got home late since I had my massage and hair appointments. The kids had already been fed so I was able to talk to them without the typical crying moments that they have when hungry. So here is little man's and my conversation:

Me: Brennan, how was school today?
B: Good. I got in trouble at the light table and then had to clean up.
Me: So you got in trouble?
B: Yeah but I okay now.
Me: So are you making friends at school? Any girlfriends?
B: Yeah I have three (makes his fingers show 3).
Me: 3 girlfriends!!!
B: No, I have 5 (makes his hand show all fingers up).
Me: 5 girlfriends!!!???
B: Yeah and they are cute.
Me: Cute huh? What are their names?
B: He rattled off names that I couldn't comprehend (need to ask the teachers).
Me: Well good for you.

This was our conversation about school last night. And the night before when we were out getting our nuggets, we saw 2 high school girls in workout clothes. I asked him if he was looking at the cute girls and he said,

"Yes Mommy. They are so cute!"

Man I am in trouble already!

No more Pee Pee

I asked Brennan to go potty last night and he flat out said "No Mommy, there is no more pee pee." Gotta love the honesty but I still made him try. He was a little upset with me but ended up running out of the bathroom excited that he made the water turn green (we have the 2000 flushes blue tablet).

Oh the excitement of childhood!

Code Brown

This evening was rather interesting in the Perry house. Kaidynce was playing in the bath and Brennan just ran into the bathroom to join her. I was giving Aaron the list for Walmart and then we heard it. That cry where you know a child is scared. We both run in to see Brennan shaking, crying, and saying things that were beyond understandable. I asked him what was wrong, kind of having a feeling I knew what happened. He pointed to the back of the tub and said "That!"

Before looking into the tub, I already knew. As I got closer to the tub, my suspicions had been correct. Looking menacing and rather disgusting was the answer. Poop!

Aaron calms Brennan down by taking him out of the tub (I was dying of laughter at Brennan's reaction to the whole situation because as parents the poop doesn't phase us). We get Kaidynce out and then I proceed to rewash her and wash him in our bathtub while Aaron cleaned the front tub and disposed of our present. At this point, Brennan looked at me without any concern in his eyes and says, "I poop in the tub." So I ask him why and his answer was "I no poop in the tub again."

What do you do with that response except tell him that it was disgusting and to not do it again but to get out and try the potty chair.

Now Kaidynce keeps walking to the bathroom door with the stink face and telling us that it is yucky! Wonder if they will ever take a bath in that tub again.....time will tell.

Urine the Way

So while sitting at my office this morning I recieve a phone call from home. You see, every other Friday, Aaron is off work and stays home with the kids. So the conversation goes as follows after I answer:

Aaron: Remember how the kids weren't supposed to go potty together anymore?
Me: Yeah, what happened?
Aaron: I opened the door after I heard giggling and found Kaidynce shoulder deep in the toilet and Brennan standing over her still peeing.
Me: (uncontrollable laughter) Did you give her a bath?
Aaron: Yes
Me: Did you wash her good? (still laughing uncontrollably)
Aaron: I am glad you find this amusing. I will talk to you later. Love you!
Me: Love you too!

So then I proceed to tell my employees the story and each and every time I told it, I laughed so hard I cried. You see, earlier in the week the kids got in trouble for playing in the toilet while flushing it. This was just an extension of their playing.

Salt, Pepper, and Pizza

Tonight we went out for pizza and as expected, Brennan was back to whining. So in order to get him to eat his dinner, I let him put parm. cheese on his food. That worked but then he wanted the other sprinkly stuff on the table. After telling him no more times than I can count, I let him experiment.

He covered, and I mean covered, his pizza in salt and took a bite. Expecting him to spit it out, I got the napkin ready. Much to my surprise, he took a second bite. That is when it hit him. He drank some water and said he wanted to try the pepper.

Aaron and I gave each other that look. You know, the I know he is going to cry when he takes a bite look. Again, much to our surprise, he finished his pizza, repeppering after each bite. It wasn't until his last couple bites that he needed a drink.

I guess his tastebuds are evolving!

Marshmellow Please

So our quirkiness of this morning is brought to you courtesy of Kaidynce.

I am up before the kids each and every weekday morning (okay most mornings) with the intent of enjoying a few minutes to myself. Aaron has been gone for over an hour at this point and the only sound in my house is the damn cat meowing. Soon this sound is joined by Brennan crying and wanting to watch Phineas and Ferb (our new favorite family cartoon). Then the sounds are joined by Kaidynce giggling and carrying her three friends (mad cow, happy hippo, and baby) into the kitchen. She wants her milk.

BUT, then she sees them. The white fluffs of greatness for children. Marshmellows!

Damn, I forgot to put them away in the cupboard so our conversation was as follows:

Kaidynce: Points to the marshmellows and signs please.
Me: No Kaidynce, you cannot have marshmellows for breakfast.
Kaidynce: A stronger signing of please along with a few grunts.
Me: No! No marshmellows for breakfast. Would you like a cereal bar?
Kaidynce: No more please just straight whining and grunting and pointing.
Me: Here (hand her a cereal bar).

At this point, I am glad that she brought the stuffed animals out with her since she decided to throw the cereal bar on the floor and then herself (landing on all three of her friends). She screamed, tears and all, for a simple marshmellow.

I ignored her for a few then realized that if I did not give in, she would cause my always loving headache to come back.

Yes - the one and half year old won and got a marshmellow for breakfast. At least it was only one and it was a mini!

Getting Started

Still new to this whole blogging world but thought it would be a great outlet for our little family and our quirky actions!

Stay tuned for the updates on our family......